Epic Rap Battles of Royal Woods
by Foolsgold Fenrir
Summary: The Loud Siblings (sans Lily) have a rap battle royale with each other to see who will truly come out on top. (Collaboration with Takaluca)
1. Beauty and the Beast (Lola vs Lana)

**(A/N):** Hey guys! Wolfy here with finally a new story for you guys, now that I have finally gotten the muse to write something. At the moment, I am planning on doing every possible Loud Sibling combo for the rounds (except for Lily, of course) which will result in around... 45 battles, I think. Special thanks to Takaluca for providing the lyrics for one of the rappers here, not gonna tell ya who. They will also continue to provide lyrics for one of the rappers in every other chapter as well, as they've offered to help. So thank you for being willing to collaborate with me on this little project here, and I look forward to how things go in the future.

 **Edit:** Okay, some of you may have noticed that this updated with Chapter 3 of my Truth or Dare fic, which I apologize for. I must have accidentally selected the wrong document. So yeah, I'll try to not let that happen again.

* * *

One day, on a bright and sunny Saturday morning... everyone was inside Lori and Leni's room. The siblings, anyway, except for Lily. Why, you ask? Well, my dear reader, because they were all getting ready for a special event. Said special event was a rap battle royale between them, just to be able to unwind and test their rapping skills. Oh, and throw some roasts at each other too, but only in good clean fun.

"Alright, everyone, you know why we're here, right?" Lori asked, marching around the room.

The other siblings all nodded their heads; Lori had intended to keep it a secret until they got in, but Leni had already told them anyway. No point in doing a special reveal if they already got it, right? In the room were all seated on either of the two beds. Normally, some would have sat on the floor too, but Lori decided there wouldn't be enough ground for the rappers that way.

"Good. So, the suggestion to do a rap battle royale was given to us courtesy of Lisa. Not surprising since she's a huge West Coast Rap fan."

Lisa stood up from Lori's bed and walked over to her side. "Yes, indeed. I am honored to have my ideas be put to use. I was... actually rather anxious about suggesting such an idea, as I know not all of you hold West Coast Rap dear to your hearts as much as I do." she said.

Lori cleared her throat and started pacing around the room again, her arms crossed. "That does _not_ mean that there will not be any rules, however! Rule number one, no swearing. Only because we do have the younger ones here with us and they'll be participating too. We don't need a repeat of the D-word incident. Yeah, we don't have Lily around, but still, better safe than sorry. Rule number two, try not to go too far. We're here to test our skills and just have fun, not genuinely offend anyone. I like to believe that we all have a thick enough skin to mostly take this all in stride, but some words can still pierce through."

The eldest sister sat down on her bed. "With that being said, lets begin our first round: Lola vs Lana!" she gestured to the twins, who took the floor. They started circling each other, a look of determination on each others' faces.

 _ **Lana:**_

Yikes, Lola, would you mind turning it down a little bit?  
Too much pink energy is dangerous!  
You dedicate your life to this  
But don't you know that other colors exist?  
Don't pretend you're innocent, I've seen how you treat both your rivals _and_ us  
That's what's wrong with these pageant girls, they'll do anything to get famous!  
I know that I'm a slob  
But people don't like it when someone's a snob  
You're too busy staring into a mirror  
To realize that you're bitter  
And I don't know what's more sad  
The fact that you only ever perform the same exact ribbon dance  
Or that every time I mention mud it just makes you mad

 ** _Lola:_**

Excuse me, mud beast, it's time for the princess to shine  
It's going to be an easy win against this opponent of mine  
You play a role of a swamp thing, to help fish and their larva  
Stay that way, and your only friend will be Big Bertha  
Your ways are disgusting, your games are just gross  
But at the very least you could keep the mud out of home  
Here is what you and Charles have in common  
You're both wild animals, how's that for pet lover?  
Its already time somebody teach you some manners  
I might be a snob, but at the very least I've got standards  
You make mud pies, and you think that we bother?  
I'll be honest with you, people think you are my brother

 _ **Lana:**_

You can keep your so-called "beauty" 'cause I'm a beast on the mic  
And you're right about me being wild  
Practically a tomcat (mreow!)  
Compared to me, your skills are at best mild  
Oh and by the way, I've _got_ friends who like me for who I am  
I blew the crowd away during that one pageant  
I'm the real deal, a girl of many talents  
While your act is just a sham  
In fact, I think you're jealous because _I'm_ the one who gave the people what they wanna see  
The real cool kids are people who aren't afraid to show their true selves, like me!  
I shoulda known that you could never spit  
Thinkin' you're too prim and perfect even when you throw a hissy fit!

 ** _Lola:_**

Jealous? Me? And I thought Luan was the joker  
And you say you're talented? Anyone can use a plunger  
You think you'll beat me, I'll turn you into ash  
Then place you and your lame rhymes back on the trash  
No, seriously, what you look in there like a hobo  
I'm kind of surprised you're not suffering from a huge disease combo  
You'll be lucky if you ever see me give you a good homage  
Cause your style annoys me and it's nasty,  
C'est dommage.

* * *

 _ **(A/N) 2: Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let me know your thoughts in the reviews! :)**_


	2. Deep Web (Lori vs Lucy)

**_Lucy:_**

Out of all the different siblings with their talents and bonuses  
They match me up against the one who is nothing but the oldest  
Hopeless, just like your social life, you rhymes shouldn't be noticed  
I can already predict your lines will be a failure in their wholeness  
The spirits told me to calm down, that the fight isn't worth it  
Unfortunately, I disagree, and they will give me a permit  
You better not even try, you just annoy us with your tone  
Maybe you'd learn to be nicer if you didn't had your phone.  
You say my rituals are strange, my clothes are depressing  
Well, you make work as slaves, I would call that disturbing  
Let's play hide and seek, I'll try to find a good sister's face  
And I won't take long, because I can see Leni is in this place

 _ **Lori:**_

You got that right, I _am_ the oldest  
Going up against the one whose emotions are the remotest  
I care about you all, when you need help I'm the closest,  
I warm your heart, but my rhymes will still be the coldest!  
You call yourself a poet, but that couldn't be further from the truth  
You joined Linc in his little investigation but you're no sleuth  
In fact, I couldn't help but think things were gettin' a bit suspicious  
He took the fall but I still knew it was you  
If the others found out, they would've been vicious  
I've already called you out, no point in denial  
As for everything else, I can tell you're already going senile!  
Believing that a bust of a fictional character is real  
Doing black magic rituals, that's off-the-charts surreal  
And as for spirits?  
I don't even wanna hear it!

 ** _Lucy:_**

You won't hear them, they don't bother with muggles  
But you better be careful, because they can cause trouble  
With those lame rhymes, I'll get sick, they are boring  
You have the guts to fight me, but there is no glory  
Remember the British man, Hugh was his name  
At first glance, you were already ready to betray  
I think someone have to tell you a very old story  
About what's the difference between sophisticated and boring  
I'm the queen of darkness, a master of suspense  
When I pop up behind you, I can feel you getting tense  
I suggest you go away, because I can see you'll begin sobbing  
I'll allow you to make a call, and start crying to Bobby

 _ **Lori:**_

Don't you bring my boo-boo bear into this!  
Whatever chance you had at winning has just been thrown down the abyss  
There's not a whole lot more to this gothed-out hack  
By the way, Hot Topic called,  
They want that entire vantablack outfit back  
Don't need to say no more 'bout this bland stereotypical emo  
Since your "poetic" skills were a no-show  
Face it, there's nothing you can do to fight it,  
So do what you and your vampy pal do best and bite it!

* * *

 _ **Who won? Who's next? You decide! Le**_ _ **t me know your thoughts in the reviews! :) (And once again special thanks to Takaluka for providing the lyrics to one of the rappers. I suggest you go check their stuff out!)**_


	3. Louds Got Talent (Luna vs Luan)

_**(A/N):**_ So yeah, I noticed that some of you in the reviews wanted Luna vs Luan, so here y'all go! Enjoy and we'll be back soon with yet another battle!

* * *

 _ **Luna:**_

Oi mate, Luna Loud here  
About to make a joke out of this joker  
Your unoriginal jokes and pranks are medicore  
Meanwhile I'm lightin' up the stage with my Mick Swagger  
Oh what's wrong? You're _already_ looking haggard!  
Must be your first time going up against a real rapper.  
When April Fools' day rolls around you take a turn for the worst  
Thanks to you, now that entire holiday has been perversed!  
Seriously, dude, I dunno how we're not dead!  
Otherwise, you spend most of your time taking jokes from the internet that we've already read  
Hey, no need to look so furious,  
I thought you liked being a joke, why so serious?

 ** _Luan:_**

First time against a rapper? Don't make me laugh  
If that's the best you've got, I'll have to teach you how to rap  
You are an American idiot, pretending to be British  
And you call my jokes and puns bad, everyone is a critic  
You keep playing loudly until we see the daylight  
I think you don't understand we don't wanna rock and roll all night  
You look just like Adam Sandler, because you have to grow up  
You always go out late at night, I hope you don't do drugs  
Luan Loud is okay, and I'm here to stay  
Now Luna, walk this way, you'll meet with a pie tray  
You like rock so much, you should visit a chapel  
Pray for your dead idles, how you like them apples?  
Your style is so wild, I could call you Dante  
Because you are on a highway to hell, Devine comedy

 _ **Luna:**_

If you think you're okay, you've already gone insane  
It really says a lot when your 8 year old sister can take your fame  
Yep, even _she's_ more of a dame!  
I've got them to let the spotlight Shinedown on me  
Step to me and I'll go on a Godsmack-ing spree  
Don't worry about me, I'm already too chill to need weed  
The only drug I take is love,  
Love is all I need  
You call me an American idiot,  
But you and Brian Reagan are the ones who's Stupid In School  
That buck-toothed face makes you look like a mule  
I almost feel sorry that it's so easy to lyrically take down this April fool,  
And unlike you, both me and my music will always be cool!

 ** _Luan:_**

If you really believe that your music sounds pretty  
You must be the new member of the fools Paradise city  
You keep your ways, and you'll be living in a shack  
I can't tell who is worse, your soundtrack or Nickelback  
And don't make me laugh, thinking that you'll put me down  
Hahaha, and I was here thinking I am the clown  
You fooled me twice, my dear, you say you're too chill  
But when it comes to love, you're the only one struck with fear  
Call me insane, but you're the one to talk  
You play so loudly, your ears will need a doc  
So don't be mad if you become a target of mock  
When you fail your career and create another school of rock

 _ **Luna:**_

When I walk into that school, my very presence _rocks_ that place all day,  
Just like you said  
And if you keep _your_ ways,  
You'd be looking at enough debt to make you drop dead!

 _ **Luan:**_

It's time for the Joker to scrub the dirty lies of the Night club  
Just like you do with your guitar, I'm gonna tear you apart.

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let me (really us) know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	4. War and Peace (Lynn vs Lincoln)

_**Lynn:**_

It's about time I battled with you

But I have to warn ya, you're screwed  
Time to put my running shoes  
Leave you in the dust without a clue  
I'm a girl with many talents  
Winning and leaving my opponent silent  
I've had to take your place in sport  
And you've ruined the game with your support  
Train though, and play greater  
Have you ever seen me lose? Never!  
I've just tried all your games and guess who played it better  
Now get up, time for exercise  
Being slow is not wise  
I can't be beaten by any other  
Is that a problem with you, dear brother?

 _ **Lincoln:**_

Oh, you say I'm screwed?  
Yeah, the entire fandom seems to think so too  
I mean, seriously, to them I'm a Casanova!  
You call yourself powerful but I bite back with the force of a supernova!  
And from what I recall, you _have_ lost multiple times,  
During game night, that basketball game, and now to my rhymes  
I was hoping that maybe that incident would be behind us, but No Such Luck there  
I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but maybe you need to grow a proverbial pair  
You're a big-shot stuck-up little jock  
Although I do remember the days that you used to go around in a frock,  
If I showed anybody those pictures, you'd freak  
Maybe next time you'll think twice before calling me a geek

 ** _Lynn:_**

You think the fandom will have your back then?  
Most of the time, you're more fried than a pan  
You call yourself the man with the plan  
Well, think how you'll become a real man  
I can easily see you're scared, I guess that's all  
Just like your room or Armstrong, you have a lack of balls  
I won't call you geek, 'cause I believe that's not fair  
Even they aren't lame enough to read in their underwear.  
Next time, try keeping your memories safe in the ark  
I'll beat you so bad, I'll knock you out of the park  
You're a lazy lame boy, I can see you rotting slowly  
You're chance of wining is just like your number of trophies  
You can try running, but there is nowhere to hide  
I will always catch up with you, on whatever bike  
Grab your jockstrap, to protect yourself from the winner  
'Cause tonight we might have more then just chicken for dinner

 _ **Lincoln:**_

Speaking of dinner, you need more diverse  
You're always inside your balls universe  
Obsessed with dropping down pants but ya can't drop a verse!  
Speak to Lucy, I think you're cursed,  
How many matches ended with you and a nurse?  
This is like that one baseball game, 'cause your shots never hit  
You lose just one game and suddenly you get your jockstrap in a twist  
I'll be _taking_ my well-deserved win and bask in the uproaring applause,  
While even the dog is ashamed of you because  
 _You got lost and forgot what real sportsmanship was!_  
Man, you really used to have guts, but now that you prioritize luck,  
Most of your episodes really suck!

You should back up, 'cause like your character development,  
Your good rhymes are just simply _nonexistent._

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	5. Leni and the Brain (Leni vs Lisa)

_**Lisa:**_

Here's your warning to take precaution,  
I'm a prodigy, Leni, and I'm about to enlighten you of your misfortune!  
I can create whatever I want, become rich or live in Istanbul  
The most you'll achieve is a full-time job at a drive-thru  
I think there's a mistake in that face of yours  
I can't tell which nose is worst, your own or Voldemort's  
I've seen a more percipient Macaca Fascicularis with intellectual disability  
In layman's terms, compared to you, a moronic monkey has more ability  
And what's worse is that you can't even learn basic calculus  
Honestly, the fact that you're still alive is miraculous

You are so ignorant, that if you traveled to another planet  
There wouldn't be intelligent life, you might even forget your helmet!

 _ **Leni:**_

Like, I'm so glad you're finally ready for some advice  
So I can teach you how to feel some joy in your life  
You're such a moody, condescending little genius  
Always so serious  
You put the A in academics and the F in friendship  
Speaking of which, here's a tip  
How 'bout you, like, actually give people a chance rather than lip?  
I know I'm not the brightest by a long shot  
But at least I don't act like a robot  
Thinking that you're the best 'cuz you can do math,  
But I think not!  
Hold down your ego, which is already minor  
Or you'll see a really mad fashion designer  
I think we need a new sister pick  
Because this one isn't a very nice chick  
When she could help with the flu, she tried to leave quick  
While some were stuck with the disease, now _that's_ sick

 ** _Lisa:_**

Regarding the infection, do you remember when our brother  
Had to sacrifice himself because you couldn't choose a mask color?  
Learn how to have joy?  
You're the one to blame  
Because when I was in elementary, you would only complain  
While I was happy with all the fame I gain  
You were struggling because you don't have a brain  
My name is Lisa L Loud  
The smartest kid around  
Making the whole crowd proud  
Out of my time travel portal  
Now for the achieve nothing Loud  
Go on and check your bank account  
Just like in 1929, she will break down  
Because she can't stop spending downtown

 _ **Leni:**_

Well I told you that you wouldn't wanna see me angry, now I'm seeing red!  
I'm aware of my less than stellar grades, but don't be mislead,  
I've got more than just air in my head!  
My ice-cold raps are sure to make you drop dead  
And ironically, sometimes you're even more thickheaded!  
Everyone tunes your boring lectures out like white noise  
You can't hide forever behind your sciencey little toys  
Good thing you're always blowing stuff up,  
That way, you're _used_ to being burned

 ** _Lisa:_**

Here's a neat suggestion from a specialist  
Your raps would be better if they cease to exist  
After I'm done, it's obvious to everyone,  
Just like your IQ, your chance of winning is the log of one!

* * *

 **** ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	6. Queen and Court Jester (Lola vs Luan)

**_Lola:_** **  
**  
Oh hey, Lola Loud here,  
Royal Woods' resident pageant queen just like every year  
And even though _I'm_ here, this isn't gonna be pretty!  
Just by looking at you, I can't help but feel pity  
I'm a princess, life chose _me_ for the life of perfection,  
You're just a failed comedian who's setting up her life for rejection  
Now I get that you wanna stay happy and all  
But pouring bleach on your emo sister is simply unacceptable  
I know that I've done some dastardly things  
Pretty as an angel but don't you ruffle my wings  
And I've heard of pranks gone wrong, but never _that_ bad  
Ya failed at makin' jokes and ya failed at pullin' pranks  
Stick to what you're good at, and run away like Tom Hanks  
You know what happens _when_ _Lola gets mad..._

 _ **Luan:**_

Guys, come here, I heard the best joke, man!  
It said this girl right here though she would win against Luan  
I have as many failed pranks as you have talent, Lola  
You're not a challenge, Lola, your words are as acid as a can of cola  
I've seen those pageants you attended, they have their standards  
But it's time someone shows you how to have class and manners  
You just give orders and do nothing, I'll call you queen bee  
I would make a joke about it, but bee puns really sting  
She thinks she's so special, because she's a princess wannabe  
People don't stand up for royalty,  
If the queen just sits down for royal tea.  
When one of her grandsons misbehaves, the queen is having a bad heir day.  
Thank you all for your presence, I'll be roasting from Monday to Sunday!

 **Lola:**

Silly rabbit, you can't expect to come back after stepping to me!  
Watch you struggle to keep up, as I just sit here sipping my tea  
Maybe instead of wasting your money on pranks that aren't funny  
You could use those building skills to craft some new plot lines  
We've already had to deal with your April Fools' tomfoolery three dang times!  
The only way you could ever get an audience laughing,  
Is if you resorted to gassing 'em  
I'm the very _epitome_ of class and order  
You're a discount Joker with an April Fools' disorder,  
Unbalanced like I unbalanced  
The skill it takes to win pageants, with my unique talents  
Gave a whole new meaning to "prim and perfect"  
And as far as I'm concerned, you just got _wrecked!_

 _ **Luan:**_

Talk about money waste, but you cast Lori in your spell  
To buy everything they sell in that five star hotel  
You don't work as a rapper, and neither a bluebell  
Do what you do best,  
Yell and hide in your shell.  
And I need plot lines? At least they have ideas for me  
Your character arc is complaining that you're not pretty  
I can actually understand why you're so hateful  
For you, every day is Fools' day, even if it's not April  
Got the house filled with traps from roof to the ground  
Thought you might have already found  
You can ask anyone who is around  
That in the end, I'll win this round  
It's time for Lola's beauty sleep, before her makeup's swept  
Still got tea, I'd leave it, because my rhymes so hot you're gonna spit it!

 ** _Both:_**

It's true, I'm kind of ruthless, fighting someone who's so useless

 ** _Lola:_**

The only thing I'm spitting is fire hot enough to leave you fried!

 ** _Luan:_**

I'll prank you, make you surprised!

 _ **Lola:**_

Better watch your back, I can and will uncover your deepest darkest secrets!

 ** _Luan:_**

Blackmail won't stop me from speaking  
Think this will be an easy win, and that you'll have the crown  
The only thing you'll take away is a pie from the clown

 _ **Lola:**_

Oh, _blackmail is such an ugly word_  
Youthink you can beat me? Now that's just absurd  
In this fandom, the annoying one is never the sister that's preferred

 ** _Both:  
_**  
Don't you try to run n' hide or confronting, you know I'm very good at hunting.

* * *

 **** ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	7. Tooth and Claw (Lucy vs Lana)

_**Lana:**_

Sweet dress, goth girl  
Looking like a black beach  
White skin, dark clothes, I'll ask Luan for some bleach  
Me and my pets bring joy to everyone, I represent fun  
All you represent is darkness and sadness, hun  
I'm a wild tomboy, I can bring a plague of frogs  
But I'm not crazy enough to lie to our own mom  
Now come to the family and drop the mic  
Maybe you can learn some joy in your life and take a hike  
I've heard all your poems, your style is hard to adjust  
No emotions? But feelings for a bust full of dust?  
You call me disgusting, when I come home covered in mud  
Well at least I don't have a recipe for homemade blood  
Step off, go back to your poems and pens  
But tell Fangs we'd like to have a new friend

 _ **Lucy:**_

Look what the cat dragged back from the trash  
Must've been where your rhymes came from  
Both as annoying and gross as a rash  
So I'mma have to Tommyknock down this little "tom"  
Hard as I drop bars like atomic bombs  
First off, let's stop here and take a lesson  
You have no idea with whom you're messin'  
Back In Black 'cause I pen fat stacks  
Everyday I crank out a new story or poem  
And I don't need to clog the toilet to drown you with my flowing  
Oh yeah, you never _did_ get to do that, did you?  
Your side of the room looks and smells like a whole zoo  
People call me grotesque,  
But I'm not the one who spends my time wallowing undressed

 ** _Lana:  
_**

Sorry, couldn't listen, you'll have to speak Louder  
Live up to your name girl, or you don't have the power?  
I'm quite a doubter, and after seeing your skin for a few hours  
I can already guess what happened to Lily's baby powder  
I think I have a good idea of who I'm messing with  
The fifth youngest sister, who solves problems using a myth  
I like you, sis, and this tip might come as a shock wave  
But believe me, you have to change the way you behave  
Maybe that way, your lines you'll be able to save.  
Oh, forget it, I just remembered you like digging your own grave  
On the rap race, I'm winning from you by a mile  
Yo Lola, come here, this girl needs a new style

 _(Lola stands up and walks over to Lana's side with a make up kit, and a stack of clothes)_

 _ **Lola:**_

Black is so last century, it'll make you stink

We need more brightness, how about pink?  
You hair is so dark, we gotta make it mellow  
Just one sec, and we will change it to yellow.  
You need to stop using make up to look creepy  
Use some blush and eye liner, you'll stop being so freaky  
Believe me, with my hints, on social life you will rise  
Now give me a smile and let's see those pretty eyes

 _(She reaches toward her bangs but Lucy slaps her hand away)_

 ** _Lucy:_**

 _Nobody touches my hair!_  
Try me and I'll have the spirits put more darkness in your soul than you could bear  
Send you deep underground in the depths of despair!  
Guess I'll have to put you _both_ in your place  
Lola, the way you behave is a _disgrace  
_ Forcing us to pamper you and keep your princess image to save face  
While under that, you're a glittery nutcase  
As for cat in the hat over here  
I couldn't help but overhear  
Apparently you played dress-up and went all prim and perfect  
After all that bragging about being the opposite,  
I can't help but see you as a bit of a hypocrite  
Now I'm done with you two  
'Cause you're as finished as Lana during Finishing School.

* * *

 __ ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	8. Mind Games (Lisa vs Lynn)

_**Lynn:**_

I heard ya like learning  
But you won't once I school you in this battle  
Earning yet another win to my streak and shaking you like a rattle  
I'm an ace on the track  
Sprint, dash and hurdle  
My status as a winner is universal  
So I'm gonna break you down to your basic level  
I can lap ya and pass ya a hundred different ways  
As everyone watching from the sidelines throw their hands in the air and give me their _praise!  
_ But every single one of your experiments go _bang!_  
Now even I want some introvert time sometimes,  
But to the point of getting and F in social skills? Dang!  
Sitting there by yourself answering questions nobody asked  
Meanwhile a buncha guys and even girls wanna get up on my jock  
And you're probably the reason our bathroom door no longer has a lock  
I mean seriously, placing cameras in there?!  
And I thought the thoughts puberty gave me would earn me a glare!

 ** _Lisa:_**

Wanna talk about disgusting, fine, see what comes out after you have your subs  
Try some fish, it's good for the brain and your guts.  
Talking about education?  
Oh please, that can't be  
I have PhD's,  
You won't have even a high school degree!  
There is always some madness in love  
But there's also always _some_ reason in madness.  
Why, when you hurt people, you seem to feel a lot of gladness  
Lincoln is your younger sibling, check his age  
Stop with your rampage, you may have broke his rib cage  
Just to prove... what? That you like to rage?  
When you lose, you get quite paranoid  
You should stop before you get addicted to steroids  
My diagnosis, after all of my time and studies  
She goes crazy like a monkey, when she hears the word lucky  
Oh, you want a second opinion, buddy?  
Let's see... oh, you're also ugly

 _ **Lynn:  
**_  
 _(Rapid-fire bar-spitting)  
_  
You really wanna talk smack?  
Allow me to attack Lisa the hack.  
Your brain glows green  
Whenever you go out of whack  
And your hair n' chompers are gone  
Due to you playing with nuclear like knickknacks  
Society and the science community gives you a lot of flack  
Even worse, you experiment on us too,  
You're a maniac!

 _(Normal speed)_

I know that I'm not the prettiest of girls,  
But I'll cut you with my _real_ teeth and let my words unfurl  
Put down that pile of textbooks, they're overdue  
You're the discount Marcie to my Peppermint Patty  
So from now on, that'll be "sir" to you!

 ** _Lisa:  
_**  
Say it like that, our siblings get alarm  
There are accidents, but above all else, I want to do no harm  
Unlike you, whose charm is to beat others, and then rearm  
Don't come here tell me what is wrong or right.  
I'm not a maniac, I'm a scientist, the difference is not slight  
That's right, brain over heart, that's how I work  
And I won't bother listening this compulsive little jerk  
I see you're afraid to lose, I'm gonna give you a bruise  
Lincoln suffered from your abuse, but just like me, he beat you too.  
I like helping people, pointing out their issues  
But I'm running out of space to write your mental conditions  
You've got yourself in a dangerous position  
Best treatment, sir on the corner  
Here, have a box of tissues.  
Fear of losing, shaming, being weak, I'm still counting  
Seriously, I'm impressed by how many phobias you have,  
Try not to get sad, we don't need a corpse to hang.  
You say you love sports, that you master them all  
But a few years after you're born, you had a lack of both your balls

* * *

 **** ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	9. American Idiots (Luna vs Leni)

**_Luna:_**

Long ago, I got into Mick  
To get to the front, I had to be slick  
And knew my music well even then  
But you couldn't even count to _ten!_ _ **  
**_Ya don't know anything beyond A-B-C,  
If it were up to me, just for you I'd put together D-U-M-B  
You may be fashionably inclined  
But everyday your IQ has declined  
There's a job at the mall you've been able to find  
And otherwise I wouldn't mind  
If I didn't know that you'd probably have to leave it behind  
Now, I apologize in advance for giving you a fright  
But you'll be nothing but a _girl of the night!_

 _ **Leni:**_

Stop rhyming now, you better just flee  
I'm very intelligent, two plus two equals three  
You're too Loud, but on this battle you won't last  
People don't wanna be deaf, stop breaking glass with sound blasts  
You call me girl of the night, you should be fright-  
-ned!  
Because the moonlight won't shine over my bright  
Your music is worse then Charles ruining my fabric  
I checked the wiki, do your best and return to classic  
In my store, we have discounts for siblings on any piece you've picked  
Oh sorry, we don't sell clothes with both sleeves ripped  
The only clip you'll have are those on your ears  
That somehow still work after all of these years

 _ **Luna:**_ _  
_  
It only equals 3  
In the world of Leni  
Those sunglasses don't only make you _literally_ blind, I see  
I'm a self-made girl,  
You're a slave to retail  
Oughta go back to sitting still and looking pretty to bail!

I'm as bright as the sun, I'll call you 451  
You burn books, because you don't know how reading is done  
Try to pay attention despite your attention span of a fly  
I'm burning through the sky!  
That's why they call me Ms. Fahrenheit!  
Your lack of integrity in our family provides a huge plight  
The _Queen_ of rock  
Is here to deliver an electric guitar shock!  
And it's hard for me to take criticism on clothes  
From the girl who flips her lid when she sees socks and sandles on the same toes!

 ** _Leni:_**

Your dumb blond jokes are worst then your guitar flow  
Sandals and socks are like totes the worst thing, you know

I'm a creator, you're nothing but an 'appropriator'

And I may be dumb, but you couldn't even work as a waiter, girl.

You're nothing but a rolling stone going downhill

Keep in mind, to work at a store, you actually need skill

I roast to thrill, and I fire my lines at will,  
If they give you a headache,  
I think mom has some pills  
I would finish you for good, but I wanna try these clothes I bought  
Unlike you, I have better things to do then screaming how much talent I've supposedly got.

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	10. Discord-enated Plans (Lori vs Lincoln)

_**Lori:**_

Literally, what is it, lame-o?  
You really think that your Ace Savvy shtick would take the show?  
Why even bother trying to flow?  
Everyone knows my little bro's soft as a froyo!  
Not gonna lie, people still think you're adopted  
'Cause this White Hare  
Sparked interest about his white hair  
But it turned out you didn't have a care.  
I was literally _born_ with the authority  
To put down this little bunny!  
So get the message, to avoid being put in peril,  
You best not be messin' with this city girl!

 **Lincoln:**

This is Lincoln Loud,  
The most popular of us all  
Stop fighting with all the crowd,  
The family needs no more brawl  
You call me adopted so you don't lose your glory,  
But we all know I have a cooler birth story  
And now, it's time for me to invade your territory.  
You're so addicted to your phone, to get your focus it were banned  
Babe is your nickname? Mine is the man with a plan!  
You know my name, I have the fame, the biggest show is what we became  
And this is the only time I can claim that I'm the one to blame.

 _ **Lori:**_

You _are_ to blame, for most of our fiascos  
Even with that phone call  
In which you made me out to be a Diablo!  
It's sad, really, that our fans can't recognize my good intentions  
And I know I went overboard with the dress situation  
We've all been trying to forget, but every mention  
Just brings more attention.  
Man with the plan indeed, you've done well with potential  
But as a _person,_ you lack the parts that are the most essential!  
You couldn't plan an escape out of a wet paper bag without it blowing in your face  
'Cause you just can't help but rush in without any haste

 ** _Lincoln:_**

Good intentions, did Leni make you stupid or do you have that much bravery?  
To try and convince us there's good in dictatorship and slavery?  
One thing you got right, that dress story gets a lot of attention.  
Your fake selfies that give you tension almost reach such a dimension.  
Not to mention, you always like to hang out with your boyfriend or buddies.  
Wake up girl, you've got one year 'til college, and we've never seen you study  
You say I'm only potential, you can't even say that  
I'm surprised mom and dad didn't call you for a little "get-ready" chat

 _(Turns around to the others in the room)_

Hey girls, I'll send another voice message, to see how she reacts

 _(Turns back to face Lori with a smug smile)_

This time I won't try to delete it, 'cause she needs to hear the facts

 ** _Lori:_**

Tell me, dear brother, what would you do without me?  
Pure authority, represent it proudly!  
Just 5 minutes without my order brought anarchy  
I'm the head of the group, queen bee but no wannabe  
I'm no Lisa, but I _am_ a genius  
Mess with me and I'll send you flying to Venus  
Getting up in my grill is playing with fire  
At 11 you'll already wanna retire  
Most of the time I can and will be kind  
But a threat I find you should keep in mind  
Dare to come into my room and "I'll _l_ _iterally turn you into a human pretzel!"_  
But go on one last verse,  
I believe we've still got something to settle.

 ** _Lincoln:_**

Who do you think you are? A genius? That's not true  
Pride in authority? Keeping order? What's next, killing Jews?  
I can smell the lies, and it's worse than dad's stew  
But it's exactly the same scent I smell when you make noises with your shoe  
Now she'll keep her mouth shut, afraid of what I have to say  
Likes to dress as in the military? Sis, let me teach you how to cosplay  
This girl likes to scream and create rules that way, leaving her mark  
Where is the authority to go to the basement when it's dark?  
With that little device of yours, you do nothing all day,  
It's not strange that you're always losing to Carol Pingrey.

 _(Mic drop)_

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	11. Grimy Rhymers (Lynn vs Lana)

**_Lynn:_**

Why don't you avoid this battle like you do with glitter?  
'Cause you have as much of a chance to beat me as Lori against Lincoln  
You don't wanna fight with Lynn, you'll lose your grin  
We'll have chicken for dinner, because I will win  
I'm the greatest sports girl and rapper you ever even knew  
I'll roast ya till your mud dries and turns you in a statue  
A lot of modifications on Vanzilla you're making  
Now I see why she is always breaking  
You want my skills? Be healthy.  
Ever heard of vegetables or toothpaste?  
Because trust me, you won't gain muscles eating or playing with nuclear waste

 _ **Lana:**_

Ooh, here comes Lynn,  
Lunging at everything that moves like a big dumb goblin  
You talk a lotta trash for someone who used to wear a dress  
That entire verse of yours was simply a mess!  
And not the good kind, either  
My raps are sicker than the things _I_ eat, sure to give you a fever  
I've got nothing to fear, you've already lost twice!  
That's what you get when you play it too nice.  
I won't gain muscles?  
Sure, tell that to the gators that I wrestle!  
And compared to me,  
You're just a pretty little kitty.  
I can tame wild animals and fix cars already,  
And I'm just six  
My life's already set up for success,  
So come at me, make my day, _princess!_

 _(She hurls a large mudball at her, only for Lynn to effortlessly catch it in her right hand and throw it out of an open window with one fell swoop. She doesn't even miss a beat.)_

 _ **Lynn:**_

Lesson one, if anyone's stupid to come against me to brawl  
I'm an expert on dodging and throwing all types of balls  
And who're you calling a princess? Do you know your contests?  
Excuse me, but I'm pretty sure Lola wants back her dress.

 _(Lana growls and blushes in embarrassment)_

That's you're plan for life? You should be in a panic  
'Cause I've never heard of a good life for a plumber or mechanic  
Don't even begin with animals, ever heard of Greenpeace?  
Try to help animals, but your time fighting them only increases  
Forget about a training, here's a professional burn  
I'll have more victories that you'll ever earn  
Now here's what will happen, and you should have done against your twin  
I finish my line, you hide in the trash bin, and then I win

 ** _Lana:_** **  
**  
Whoa there fella, you're coming up a bit short with your stuff  
But that's all I'd expect when rapping against a dwarf  
You and Linc are pretty much the same height  
Even though you two don't match up quite as much in might  
Tell me, which incident destroyed your rep worse?  
You gloatin' like no tomorrow, or kicking your bro outta the house?  
Do that to me and I'll show you why you should never agitate  
An un-neutered alley cat!  
I don't even need your karate, I'll pelt ya with some jarate

 _(She takes out a small jar of, well, "jarate" and then simply tosses it over her shoulder, not looking back)  
_  
Everyone needs a refreshing drink after a game well played  
Here, you're welcome to have some, Linc's game said it's just _fresh lemonade  
_ It's been a heck of a time  
Remember when I said I'd work to be less gross? Well, I lied!  
Spittin' hot flow like lava, leave you fried  
Your verse was so dry, I don't think you even tried!

 _(Ronnie Anne jumps in through another window at the right, paying no heed to the shattering glass and landing in the middle of the two)_

 ** _Ronnie Anne (While basically roaring every line):_**

Are you kidding me with this _blah blah blah?!_  
I've gotta give you both some news before I _break your jaws!_ ** _  
_**I've heard more thoughtful discussions, back in _In Tents Debate_  
 _You two got rhymes more disgusting then what Lana ate!_ ** _  
_**Your rhymes are so weak, I came all the way from the Great Lake!  
Right back in Royal Woods to improve the rap, for everyone's sake!  
You are two of the worst rappers anyone has ever set eyes  
Lynn only wants to talk sports, and Lana about mud pies

 _(She turns to face Lana)_

You unclean little pageant girl, you're super bad at rapping  
You wanna be good, first have rhythm with your armpit farting!

 _(She then turns to face Lynn)_

And Lynn, is she a jock or a joker?  
I've never seen funnier rituals from a softball player!  
I'm the one who'd make the best for the family's tomboy  
I make no messes, beat bullies and even bring some joy  
Don't choose between Dirty Dan and the brutal beater  
Go with the Latino, she has more style and meter.  
I might have moved away, but the friendship and skill still stands  
Lynn and Lana, shake hands and leave Rap Land  
This house needs no more fights between the sweaty and the disgusting  
Mark my words, are you hearing?  
The others are coming!

 _(Ronnie jumps back through the broken window, leaving everyone in the room and especially Lynn and Lana dumbfounded. As evidenced by their jaws dropped and eyes wide open)_

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	12. Dark Humor (Lucy vs Luan)

**_Lucy:_**

My name is Lucy Loud, the girl with rituals and weirdness  
Who is also known as the Duchess of Darkness  
For many years we scare our family  
It's becomes quite conventional  
But with only one of us,  
When it happens, it's intentional  
They recognize me for leaving people frightened as I walk my path.  
You're only known as the bad joker or the prankster sociopath  
Call me Batgirl, what goes inside the Joker's brain is mysterious  
She should see the other side of the coin, and she'd see _why so serious_  
I know spirits, I do rituals, I can even haunt your dreams  
Let's see what makes our dear sister scream  
You want to do comedy? That's no laughing matter  
Because with her April Fool's tendencies, her audience will shatter.

 _ **Luan:**_

 _That's_ your opening line?  
C'mon now, I was looking forward to some spooky rhymes!  
Fool me once, shame on me  
But fool me twice and I'll do more than just bleach you, ya see  
Now I wouldn't consider myself mean,  
But step to me and I'll show you why not to try to overthrow the Prank Queen  
 _Pouty little vampy with an edginess addiction,  
_ I'm an aspiring comedian whose talent has no restriction!  
Your glittery secret's quite the contradiction  
A love for princess ponies never would've been my prediction!  
And you're looking pretty pale, that's an understatement  
Must be from being cooped up with your bust buddy replacement!  
When I'm done you'll have a real reason to be cynical  
Add some color to your complexion when I burn you lyrically  
Mix in some Head Poet's Anxiety  
When you join the Dead Poet's Society!

 ** _Lucy:_**

That society is my dream, it would be an honor, but I have to work a lot  
So I start with small and insignificant Royal Woods Theater, I thought.  
I'm a well known artist, I can build a Corn Maze or a haunted house  
You're only a laughing gas addict, even more annoying than Mr. Grouse  
I am dark and spooky, I get the weird and scary girl crown  
But you're the real fright, a psychopathic clown  
Pointless destruction and pain for joy of a girl with hair that's brown  
Who could have already ruined our whole town  
You know the asylum on the mountain that was burned down?  
You'll go, but your pranks won't help you survive until dawn.  
Wanna talk about spooky? Fine, let's change style.  
How about some poetry to break your goofy smile-

(subject to change)

 _ **Luan:**_

 _(yawning)_

Ehh, I knew this would be boring  
Sad compared to the contrast of Ronnie Anne's roaring  
Putting words in my mouth, but _you're_ the real dummy,  
Call me Shenzi 'cause my inner hyena finds your efforts real funny  
By the way, your name means "light"  
If you say that's ironic, you'd be right  
Your future doesn't look very _bright!_  
Take it from me,  
You've got nothing but darkness-induced apathy!  
Funny when you compare the twins' situation to your overhype,  
This gloomy gloom here is the physical embodiment of every emo stereotype  
That's right, just a token  
With everything else, you're mistaken  
If I were to go further, I'd leave you completely broken  
But it had to be said, time to awaken  
From the fantasy in your head that'll be nothing but  
Now I'm done dropping bars and truth, already baggin' the win  
Best served colder than your Edwin's deadened skin!

 **Lucy:**

With all the bad things in your mind, I could see manners wouldn't be an issue,  
Now if you're done, my line I shall continue

 _It's the story of the crazy little girl  
She had a smile as shiny as a pearl  
When her family didn't laugh to the joke of the lady  
She would just let her whole life become shady_

 _But she couldn't hold it all, her wrath she would free  
On April the First, those she called fools would see  
That her sanity was gone just like the life of a cut tree  
And their life's vanish when her counting reached three_

 _Fright, shame, darkness and pain  
Her brain took it all, it broke her chain  
It made her insane, with hate in her veins  
And made her family's life go in vain_

Darkness consumes you, sis, even if you don't see  
Want a title for the poem? It's "What Future Holds To Me"  
But I won't let it  
Our family won't burn like coal  
A coincidence I needed to sacrifice a corrupted soul  
Don't worry sis, I'm doing you a favor  
 _(snarling)_ It will be definitely better then dealing with the pain of your _comedy failure._

 _(Maggie opens the room's door, shrouded in the shadows until she steps out.)_

 _ **Maggie:**_ _  
_  
 _Did somebody say pain and failure?_

Make way for Maggie over here  
I'm controlling this battle like a puppeteer  
Although I'm no seer  
The future shows my win is near.  
I may have only appeared once in the series  
But I made a lasting impression without being cheery  
Luan, you're good girl, your soul is gold  
And so would be your silence,  
Since it wouldn't have all those bad puns told  
You think you'll warm a heart like mine, ice cold?  
Well, you must have something better than 50 year old jokes.  
And you there, the starry-eyed goth Lucy,  
Looking like something I'd see from Princess Pony trying to be edgy  
Contrary to popular belief, we're not the same  
You find joy in darkness,  
But preps cower when they hear my name  
The pain your pretentiousness brings me is immense.  
Now, I oughta get back to my own fanged gang  
Can't have the yin without the yang  
'Cause you two are opposites that complete each other  
Maybe you two can _teach_ each other  
Shake hands, you're both part of the arts,  
One more thing, don't let anyone change what's in your hearts.

* * *

 __ ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	13. Double Trouble (Lori&Bobby vs Leni&Chaz)

_**Leni:**_

I'll handle these two,  
I'm known to make people fall head over heels  
'Cause really for reals,  
Lori, everyone knows that stench isn't your shoe

 ** _Chaz:_**

I mean, I'll let you go first  
But I'm definitely getting a word in  
On this dolt who's duller than a bin,  
And this bratty little vixen!

 _ **Leni:**_

Like L Is For Love, you're overrated.

 ** _Chaz:_**

Your love story is grossly exaggerated!

 ** _Leni:_**

Hey Lori, you still wear that girdle tanktop?  
Geez, your sense of fashion surely took a big drop  
I'm the full package, got both sass and class  
Come at me, I'm like, totes ready to kick your-

 _ **Chaz:**_

Well, now it's time to talk about Bobby  
You and your girl should get another hobby  
I mean seriously, you let your little sister  
Constantly pick on Lori's brother, mister!

 ** _Leni:_**

Once we're done with them, they'll be Driving Miss Hazy  
Hey, we did tell you that going against us had a cost

 ** _Chaz:_**  
They know they already lost,  
So it's driving them crazy

 ** _Leni & Chaz:_**

Just admit that both your boring personalities  
Were due to to the writers being lazy!

 _ **Bobby:**_

Babe, don't worry about their quibbling  
I'll make sure they don't stress you more than your siblings

 _ **Lori:**_

Boo-Boo Bear, that's so nice, you're literally the best  
But I won't stop fighting after she stole the way I dressed

 ** _Bobby:_**

Oh really, you going to call _us_ overrated?  
Oh, excuse me, I don't remember, when have you even dated?  
You only appeared in one episode, who're you trying to impress?  
Even Luan and Maggie have a relationship with more success  
Don't you even dare be talking about mi hermana  
She will make you run, you shopping mall Santa  
I won't invite this fool for dinner anytime soon  
We'll run out of food, before he's full.  
He might even eat the spoon

 ** _Lori:_**

And you sis,  
They say Everyone Loves Leni  
But I know that you literally ain't worth a penny  
Or you think I don't know you'd kick Chaz through the door  
If he didn't have those discounts in his clothing store  
This sure has a cost, and we're spitting the gold  
I'm not boring, and I'm not written by a 5 year old  
You don't know love nor rap, you've been burned  
I'd give you some lessons, but you literally can't learn

 ** _Leni:_**

Oh, really now, I can't learn?  
You can't handle not being in charge, I discern  
Your behavior's brought us a lotta concern  
It's quite obvious that attention's what you truly yearn  
Throwing off my driving test,  
And keeping everyone stressed?  
Yup, this chick's really messed!

 ** _Chaz:_**

Is it a _fight_ you're looking for?  
Are you gonna throw hands against these bars,  
Or like the coward you are,  
Will you just make a run for the door?  
Leni, I think we've already made 'em crack  
And no, I'm not taking it back,  
Ronnie's stone cold like Medusa  
Yeah, um, Chaz _no le gusta!_ ** _Leni:_** Chaz, honey, you're right  
We might be taking it too far  
Especially since _one of them_ can't handle sharing the wheel of a car!  
While her boyfriend is nothing but a desperate, mindless working drone  
Lori, I've seen what pic you used for Bobby on your phone  
Due to these two, there's a _reason_ Vanzilla has a sticky seat.  
 _(_ _ **Chaz:**_ _Ew!)_  
Just admit it, we've got you beat  
Man, even _I_ can, like, feel the heat

 _ **Bobby:**_

Oh, that's it. _They know..._

 ** _Lori:_**

That they've literally ruined their flow

 ** _Bobby:_**

Let's show this Gary and Mary Sue how love is done down in Mexico

 ** _Lori:_**

Our relationship only grows

 _ **Bobby:**_

Going fast, we ain't going slow

 _ **Lori:**_

We're so perfect, we know each other's verses against our foes

 _ **Bobby:**_

I am no coward, and I'll defend my babe to the end  
Seeing you, I'm afraid you might eat your girlfriend  
Yes, I work a lot, ever heard of responsibility?  
Eating snacks and playing games won't bring any utility  
And, really, that's what you use against me?  
Do you, by any chance, even know my family?  
Try observing, and you'll see Ronald's a great pick  
Yet, I'm saying this to a guy so fat he can't see his little d-

 _ **Lori:**_

Boo-Boo Bear, no need to stress, we're in this together  
Plus, their verses hit us weaker than a falling feather.  
Ignore my sister, she doesn't know what she could say  
She can't even dodge a wall that's in her way.  
As for you, mister, Bobby is right, you're not fit  
He won't run trough the door, but at least he can walk trough it  
I'd say you get in shape, but a circle is already one  
Your character development is as small as the exercise you've done

 _ **Bobby:**_

Good rhymes there, Babe!

 _ **Lori:**_

Oh thanks, Boo-Boo Bear!

 _ **Bobby:**_

You definitely got these two falling off the chair

 ** _Lori:_**

They can't hurt our love

 _ **Bobby:**_

It's just like a bubble

 _ **Lori:**_

And it's always great you're here to make it double.

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	14. A Typical Disney Movie (Lola vs Linc)

**_Lincoln:_**

Once upon a time, a king had 11 kids  
One prince, 10 princesses, one in particular hard to befriend  
Thinks she's better than others, with her shiny pink dress  
So the prince put her down, the others lived happily ever after. The end.

 _(he throws the book away)  
_  
Okay, let's be honest, everyone knows the truth  
Nobody likes you, you bossy, annoying spoiled little youth  
Can track the evil in you, even without being a sleuth  
It'll take longer for you to change than to regain your front tooth  
You wanna win this? Come on sis,  
Stop with the lies  
You were the one to give me my victory undies  
You only try to behave near Christmas Day  
I shouldn't be surprised by you being afraid of Santa  
Because when he gifted us with twins, one was expected, the other not  
And I'll tell ya sis, the latter wasn't Lana.

 _ **Lola:  
**_ _  
(singing) Who's the girl looking in the mirror?  
It's Lola Loud, and it couldn't be clearer  
All her cutie pie rivals fear her  
(Normal voice) _I'm more powerful than an army,  
And you're _not_ invited to my tea party!  
Oh, you just made a grave mistake  
Taking on a princess, time to find out how easily you break.  
You may have taken down Lynn and Lori, but I'm more than a match  
Try to beef with me? Be warned, _I scratch._  
The next Cute and Mean  
Can also show you worst nightmare you'll ever have seen  
Lynn took your name,  
'Cuz she's more of a man than you  
You being the "man with the plan" brings us a lotta shame  
Turn around, I'll show you where I'll fit my high-heeled shoe!

 ** _Lincoln:_**

Lola, I think you're going to hard against me to win

Just like Girl O.J Simpson and Carol's shadow with a fake grin

 _(Lincoln points to Lynn for the former and to Lori for the latter; both shoot him a glare)_

And you might not be Lana, but you'll go with them to the trash bin

I don't think I made a grave mistake, I did it right on my own

Or was "annoying girl" too much to write on your tombstone?

Lola used scratch? Come on, I use swagger  
You know, I'm actually having fun with this sandbagger  
Wanna talk about Lynn? Okay, let's make the old joke  
I'm noticing a complete lack of _roasts_ in your verse, you'll choke.  
And I know where you'll fit your shoe, in your wardrobe away from rain  
Just after you trip and break your leg because you lack a brain  
And you'll be laying without it on your bed due to pain  
While me and your twin go to Dairyland again

 ** _Lola:_**

I saw how you treated Lana at that pageant,  
Boy, what's wrong with you?  
Coming from me, your jerkiness really grew!  
 _You wanna compare me to her and be snide?_  
Fine, then you're pretty much a clone of Clyde  
Probably including everything about Lori, _yea, I'd hide...  
_ You could never be dapper, even as Lincolnton  
I'm practically perfectly in every shape and form, you're a specimen of sin!  
You aren't a tough guy, the thought of football made you hissy  
Had to get Lynn to pose as you because you're just a sissy  
Oh, and nice victory panties, think there's a version for a man?  
I found that more laughable than the undies of Superman  
I got 'em because I knew they'd be perfect for you  
And you can't taint a diamond's beauty with the dirt that you spew.

 ** _Lincoln:_**

"I got them because I knew they'd be perfect for you"

 _(Rips off shirt and pants)_

That's the only truth you said, Lola.  
I know you enjoy the view  
And I admit it, I did what I had to for Lana to win  
And I'd say the reward made her happier that she has ever been

 ** _Lana:_**

You can bet money on that

 ** _Lincoln:_**

And you're a nice backup against a brat

 ** _Lana:_**

Wait, are you saying...

 ** _Lincoln:_**

Come on Lans, let's see you playing

 ** _Lana:_**

Woohoo, round two, that's right!  
Lola, I'm back, Beauty and the Beast,  
But only I'll be happy ever after on this track  
And Linc can be tough, even not being on the sports crew  
I mean, you, Lori and Lynn were roasted by him, weren't you?

 _ **Lola:**_

Roasted? Psssh, he must be gettin' desperate  
I thought you'd have a chance again after Lynn,  
But you just missed it  
I can tell, you're a mini Whitney Wisconsin  
Her grossness compared to you sure seems common  
I mean, I'm just sayin' about your personality in general,  
That explains why you fill our room with animals!

 _(Lana's eye twitches and she charges at Lola, fists raised)_

 _ **Lana:**_

 _NOW YOU LISTEN HERE-_

 _(Lincoln managed to catch her in time and pulls her back)_

 _ **Lincoln:**_

Don't even bother with the girl that will go to hell  
And she's close, I can tell by the burning flesh smell

 _ **Lori:**_

Lincoln, that's literally not a word you should say!

 _ **Lincoln:**_

Well, you sure make our lives like it every day

 _ **Lana:**_

Oh, but it's okay for Lola to accuse me of-  
 _ **  
Lori:**_

Now don't you start, or this'll end in tragedy!  
And as for the albino squirrel, at least I actually _have_ personality-

 _(Suddenly, Lynn jumps down from one of the beds and makes her way over to Lola and Lori)_

 ** _Lynn:  
_**  
Speaking of personality, the same could be said about Lana  
I agree that the Whitney comment was uncalled for,  
But one can expect that joke when surrounded by fauna  
So, that one's something you're partly at fault for  
The fact is, you're just gross comic relief  
You're as bad as Luan, to say the least

 _(Luan looks over with a "You wanna go?" look and walks over to Lincoln and Lana's side)_

 ** _Lori:_**

Hey, I wasn't finished!

 ** _Lynn:_**

Does that really matter, or do you wanna win this?

 ** _Luan:_**

Excuse me to interrupt, I think I didn't hear clearly  
 _Even if Luna might have damaged my ears severely_  
I'm a master comedian! From puns, pranks, acts.  
Of course I win!  
I mean, your rap is messier than Trump's corn hair in the wind

 ** _Luna:  
_**  
I wouldn't say your _puns_ are any better, either  
That sunny disposition of yours sure is a deceiver  
I mean, pouring bleach on Lucy?  
Now that's some dangerous chemical play even _Lisa_ would consider beneath her!  
There's similarities between you two there, which you deny so profusely

 ** _Lisa:_**

I must correct your mistake, sibling unit.  
Now listen to me, yes? Unlike my rap, my management of chemicals is 99% harmless  
And I've already clarified that, more than necessary, it was too many  
You should stop pretending you don't lack brain capacity similar to Leni

 _ **Leni:**_

Oh, _I'm_ the one who's dumb cuz I'm quiet enough not to blast people into walls?  
You're the one who was trying to use Lily to catch your pratfalls!  
You're a hypocrite, admit it  
First place, I fit it  
But you'll never make it to Hollywood when you don't got the wit for it!

 ** _Lucy:_**

You forgot me

 _(everyone jumps in fright)_

But it wouldn't be a surprise  
To pretend and ignore the one who will bring your demise  
Two teams are set, and ready to battle  
Or should I say, we're ready to fight, while you are ready to lose  
Place your bets, it isn't hard to choose  
When Lynn comes in second place, we'll hear the news

 _(The rap battle turns into unintelligible squabbling and mangled rap lines until Lincoln and Lola calm down both of their teams)_

 ** _Lola:_**

Ladies, ladies, _calm down!_  
There're no need to drag this whole thing outta town!  
I appreciate the help, but I can assure you, I can take him  
Then again, anybody can, he's so frail from drowning in comic books,  
In a room filled to the brim  
Look at him, like a twig, he's shook!  
Rendered speechless while he cowers to my power.

 _ **Lincoln:**_

 _(groan) Uh_ , what? Sorry, I fell asleep

This is actually getting boring, your rhymes are cheap

I mean, look at your team, it's a recipe for disaster.  
Though, to not humiliate you too much, I'll go faster  
From oldest to youngest, we have a lack of love, brains, and common sense  
Followed by a lack of respect and manners.  
Things get tense!  
But I don't worry, we'll win, call me a forecaster  
When it comes to rhyming and team picking, I'm the one and only master

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	15. School Of Rap (Lisa vs Luna)

_**Lisa:**_

Science is organization of knowledge, and wisdom organization of life  
From my analysis, you lack both, am I correct, wildlife?  
The universe is made of protons, electrons and neutrons  
And by your looks, apparently there's an inclusion of morons  
My hypothesis, you're made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Carbon to conclude  
As only an AuTiSTiC would believe you can play so Loud without having your ears, as you say, screwed  
Specialist suggestion, you should leave  
As your skill's as long as your sleeves  
Admire all the awards I've achieved  
While you use your instrument to cleave  
Life without music, would be a mistake  
But your noises are like a cow scream when turned to steak  
You claim you have rock style, all black or dark purple, outthought  
I must point out you take pride with the other colors of the rainbow

 _ **Luna:**_

Yeah, that's right, I'm proud of who I am  
I've got integrity, but you're nothing but a sham  
With all those big words you pull out, you're pretentious  
And a possibly scatophillic individual who never should've gotten into forensics!  
You've got a big brain, and quite a mature mentality  
So why don't you put it to use, and help out society?  
You've got all this time, despite running around like you've got ants in your pants  
You think you can breakdance?  
You couldn't even do the konga  
Thinking that your bars are tough  
When everything about you can be mocked  
When you lose, you'll be so shocked  
I call you Sheldon, and you go bazzinga  
But hey, at least you can do the robot  
That's basically what you are, emotionless and working 'til your gears rot  
Everyday I'm _reaching new heights!_  
Can't say the same for you, I'm a _scary monster_ to this Dwarf Fortress sprite!

 ** _Lisa:_**

It's definitely time for our biology class  
You better pay attention to my words, or else you won't pass  
Your statement with dwarfism is incorrect, my height development is ideal to my age, like my mass  
Unlike your development of mammal glands and...  
And no, I'm not scatophilic, I feel no pleasure at all  
From what comes out your natal cleth or oral cavity when you go down the hall  
However, both deserve attention to my studies.  
Just like the way you behave with your, as you call, "buddies"  
I've grown some expectations in this battle, but it's like your mind has a block  
Which only allows you to mock science and lie how much you rock.  
Sibling unit, you must understand that my favorite color isn't pink  
However, you Lu-looked much better in that outfit  
Undeniably, you showed so much sadness, in your tears you could sink  
But we both know you actually refuse to accept you like it

 _ **Luna:**_

Oh you don't get pleasure from it, huh?  
Then explain why you collect more samples than you can study, brah!  
And my band's the best group of friends I could ask for  
Including a certain special girl who makes my heart soar  
Speaking of which, I wonder what you do with your only one all night  
You've lost your hair faster than Walter White  
Who was it, uhh, Darcy Pinkman?  
Don't talk to _me_ about pink, man!  
What I wanna know,  
Is who let the school-obsessed gremlin be in charge of our amount of snow?  
You should really get some sleep, it's taking quite a toll on your abilities  
I get that we can be sometimes be annoying  
But what makes you think you'd last a day alone in a facility?  
No need to act tough, we can see through your facade of hostility  
You're just trying to deny that you took a spin on the spectrum of disability.

 _(Lincoln cuts his way into the middle)_

 **Lincoln:**

"Sometimes" annoying, you say?  
I'm about to school you both, so you better start to pray-

 _ **Luna:**_

Oh no, we're not gonna do that this time  
Now it's _your_ turn to get destroyed with rhyme  
Leaving you unscathed would practically be a crime  
Annoying is right, in relation to your interruption  
Now I'mma pass the mic to Lisa to finish your destruction

 ** _Lisa:_**

It was a giant red button you clicked  
When to join this fight you picked  
Now, I wanna avoid you getting afflict  
But we're trinitoluene and we will conquer victory without conflict

 _ **Luna:**_

Ey Lis, we make a pretty good team

 _Lisa:_

I tend to agree, older sibling

 _Lisa and Luna:_

But I still win!

 _(Beat)_

 **Luna:**

Fine, it's a tie...

 _Lisa:_

Not at all, we won and Lincoln met his lyrical demise.

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	16. Deathmatch (Lynn vs Lucy)

**_Lynn:_**

What are you looking for sis?  
Perfect body or rhymes?  
Cause honestly, having these muscles and roasts should be a crime  
You goths are all the same.  
Just favor some tall and pale trend  
They could all be your friends.  
Slender man, Laughing and Eyeless Jack, Myres and Voorhess, all of them, am I right?  
I mean, you're pale and a try to be spooky, you're just in a lack of height  
Oh no, wait, you're also lacking some actual depressing backstory  
If you took your bangs off your face, you'd see there's no reason for a reformatory  
You like complex words, almost like that green elf from Lincoln's movies  
'To the vents there will be ascension'

 ** _Lincoln (to himself):  
_** _Please tell me it's not Yoda_

 ** _Lynn:  
_**  
I better mention, don't fall with some rope  
We don't need your final suspension!

 _ **Lucy:**_

Oh, going with those kinda jokes?  
How laughably traditional  
Come on, that one's not even original.  
Goths are the same, you say?  
Well, lemme tell you something about you meathead jocks today  
With all of you hungry for attention  
Can't go a single day without giving your trophies a mention  
Yet for you, we all know it's pretention  
When truly you have more in common with Lola  
With your competitive aggression.  
Here I call upon the thunder  
To send you six feet under  
And how are you talkin' about hittin'  
When you clearly lack skills in spittin'  
Except during your gloating in people's faces  
But otherwise it's ballet in which you show your graces

 ** _Lynn:_**

You should have more respect for me  
I'm the biggest champion you'll ever see  
I score with bats, kicks or even rods  
With no help from spirits, only gods  
I'm the best, share a room with a tragedian  
Who needed career tips from a comedian  
And your favorite show, it sure is melancholy  
That thing seems so bad, they had to call Blake Bradley  
I wouldn't be number two even if Lisa had a machine for cloning  
While the 'spooky girl' is hidden reading Princess Pony

 _ **Lucy:**_

If you're the best, where's the rest  
Of your height?  
You say you're the biggest champion, but definitely not physically  
Maybe you should learn some civility  
Gloating to everyone over a simple board game doesn't exactly show subtlety.  
When's the last time you've shown humility?  
Take a trip down memory lane, it's practically a ghost town  
The only way you'll understand is if your pride gets Tommyknocked down  
Torn apart like I'm a mad dog, call me Cujo  
And thrown into the Pit of the Pendulum before it can hit a new low

 ** _Lynn:_**

Pendulum is moving, clock is ticking  
A pit of shame and depression is where you're falling, sis

Aw, what's wrong? You want attention, gonna cut your wrist?  
If you speak a bit louder, we might notice you exist

Keep saying you're deep, that you have emotions, just hide from us all  
But truth be said, Luce,  
You're so cold your feelings bounce like a bowling ball  
I mean, you're a great poet who needs helps with rhymes.  
I'm being ironic, that's bad.  
Now why don't you just drop your goth phase before I give you a real reason to be dark and sad?

 _ **Lucy:**_

The only thing that I'll be cutting is you with my teeth  
I'm usually not one to judge,  
But your good luck rituals leave me in disbelief  
You bring up Princess Pony, yet you fail to mention  
Those old photos with you all dolled up, causing tension  
And the time Lola had you be her maid and paint her nails  
You ought to fear people like me, for our hearts tell tales  
It should be obvious, though, that this is one medal you'll never don  
Like a lame duck, you barely have a leg to stand on  
So you resort to typical edgy jokes,  
It's the same for all of you folks  
Now, since I'm merciful, this will be the end of the pain,  
There's a good reason people call you Lynn-sane.

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	17. The Grossologists (Lisa vs Lana)

**_Lisa:_**

Your chances of winning are F(x)=√x, where X | Z and X 0

 _(Lana stares back silent and confused)  
_  
In other terms, they are nonexistent, in a language spoken by smart people  
You shall call me your doctor, I've been here to help since my primes  
To aid you to spit out both types of garbage: what you eat and what you call rhymes  
Seriously, your hygiene levels would earn an F in a click  
Your younger sibling needs to put you to bed, you must be sick,  
With trends toxic  
I admire your appreciation for animal biology, therefore science, as I do  
Though you fail to realize certain species are hazardous  
My theory after observation: you miss a good arsenal of rhymes  
It's time for my experimentation with your verse, and I'll conclude I'm right.

 _ **Lana:**_

Glad you got that outta your system, Lise  
Otherwise, you'd just end up feeling worse after the rhymes I release  
You're like a computer, sitting in a room surrounded by wires  
I doubt you'd move even if it was set on fire  
Yeah, I'm sick, I'm so ill I'll make your cables go haywire!  
You're the one that studies nature, but I'm the dominant one in this ecosystem  
And you haven't gotten any time to gather wisdom  
Yeah, you're smart, but that's basically it  
It's pretentious, flaunting it around without any instinctual wit  
See? I can use big words too  
But I've got many other talents, unlike you!  
You wanna talk about animals?  
I've got the strength of a lion, and could wrestle a crocodile  
The things that I can handle daily would leave you trying to hold back bile  
But your lack of concern for others' safety is what's truly vile!

 _ **Lisa:**_

So let me get this straight, you wrestle alligators, and I lack wisdom?  
If you haven't already in your competitions, I'll now make you meet your doom

You state right, the only physics I have is on studying electricity, light and movement  
Despite your claims towards your skills, I find it hard to be proven  
That attraction to animals and tool management is something not many people can do  
You surely adore animals, a fact that does not leave you like a program in a machine  
Might go to Africa to help take care of them, and then suffer diseases due to your fear of needles and vaccines  
You may claim I don't have morals, that I don't care for safety, but you should understand I'm not the one  
To have a lot of pets due to believing that zoophilia is correct and fun

 _(Lana drops her calm and collected demeanor as her expression darkens. She cracks her knuckles and gets ready to go all out.)_

 ** _Lana:_**

 _That's it, Lisa, now you've awoken a dire beast..._  
No more Miss Nice Lana, that person is deceased!  
Why does that even have a scientific term?  
It's because of people like you, I bet I can confirm!  
Now I've got nothing here to lose, and you have nothing that can be saved  
Maybe you shoulda thought of that before accusing me of something so depraved!  
The other kids keep away from you because you're empty inside,  
Friendships don't work out well when they know that a sociopath resides

 ** _Lisa:_**

I only have- ** _  
_**  
 ** _Lana:_**

I didn't say I was finished!  
When I said you were vile, I meant it  
Did you really think I'd forget it  
When you tried to hook up wires to Lily  
When you set up cameras in our rooms and bathroom to take away pieces of our privacy willy nilly?  
It was bad enough when Lola made that joke, but now you're hammering it more  
Some of our other sisters already exposed who you are at your core  
But they failed to mention that without your madness you'd be a bore  
You know who fixes the house whenever something goes wrong, like an explosion in your room?  
Yeah, me, you're welcome!  
Sorry I don't meet your standards of tidiness, not a fan of perfume  
But maybe you should learn to have respect for your resident fixer-upper  
I'll make you eat your words, and it'll be your last supper.  
Basically, you're a disgusting, weird, friendless, crazy girl  
Who messes with dirty stuff against the rules so she can mess it all up-

 _ **Lisa:**_

So... you're talking about _yourself?_

 _(They both lunge at each other, each with a fist raised and a scowl on their face)_

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	18. Comic Relief (Luan vs Lincoln)

_**Luan:**_

Well if it isn't lil' Stinkoln here to face me in a battle  
How long have _you_ been scared to fight me 'cuz you're fragile?  
Just like Lynn, afraid to lose or get called out, heaven forbid  
Warning, I'll drop ya faster than Lynn and Ronnie ever did!  
Still got snow on the roof?  
Yeah no, I wouldn't call that snow  
Surprising how nobody else mentioned that, but I know  
I already own a business, unlike your failed one as a Girl Guru  
But the funniest joke I've heard all day has gotta be you _(ooh!)  
_ You follow my lead, because you're just my assistant  
Tried to take over the show once, but your talent's nonexistent  
Allow me to be Miss Meanie,  
I mean, your character development isn't the only thing that's teeny!  
So come at me, don't be such a weenie

 ** _Lincoln:_**

 _(Sigh) A_ lright, here we go again  
Another sister about to enter Lincoln's rap pain train  
Talk about talent, if nobody told you why they're afraid of you, I will  
Each year in April, we fear you might start counting kills  
Your crippling addiction is definitely not fun  
You couldn't even stay an hour without a 'knock-knock' pun  
Your comedy show is like acid rain  
Some stay dry and others feel the pain  
You can't stop even when we've turned off the lights  
I bet Luna even cries with your sleep talking every night  
People heard your lines, and just like the puns, they all said boo!  
Your rhymes are, as Lily would say...  
 _(Lily impression)_ 'Poo-poo'

 _ **Luan:**_

You think I haven't heard those things before?  
By golly, every new episode with you is a bore  
Everyone can use some joy, why don't ya smile more?  
Sad that you can't break outta your Predict Ability  
I may be a jester, but even I have got more nobility  
You're right about the acid rain  
Cuz my burns hit you with sizzlin' pain  
All your likability has gone down the drain  
You oughta face the facts, nobody likes you anymore  
That's what you're pining after so many girls for  
An even worse Casanova wannabe than Carlino  
Meanwhile I'm drowning you out with my flow like El Niño

 ** _Lincoln:_**

Ugh, and she still wonders why she doesn't have friends in this day and age  
Braces, annoying, and a once a year prank rage  
And her so called talent doesn't let her kiss her crush upstage  
I might not be as loved anymore, but nobody would like you to start with  
You somehow even fail to be the family's comic relief  
It's not time to smile, rapping is No Laughing Matter  
Cause between a clown on the circus or the sewers, you bend to the latter  
This might be rap battles of Royal Woods, but you made it far from epic  
Go back to your only friend, Mr Coconuts  
I heard you love to play medic.

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	19. Fashionista Fury (Lola vs Leni)

**_Lola:_**

Hmm, who's that?  
Oh, our spoiled cinnamon roll.  
Rapping against me, you're digging your own hole.  
What's wrong with your walking?  
Your hands and those moves in  
Our house, looking like a dinosaur from the movies  
I'm no rocket scientist, but unlike you, I'm no fool  
But anything you say to me just gives me more roast fuel  
If it weren't attached to your body, you would lose your head  
Just like it almost happened with all of your friends  
Or with your hair, you see, when you dyed it like Trump's skin  
The air in your skull was higher than it has ever been  
They call you pure, helping others, that's fair  
But we can't forget, your dress is cut just down there

 _ **Leni:**_

Hehe, you're one to talk about being spoiled!  
With you blackmailing us with our secrets 'til your plan was foiled  
Or whenever you take out your anger on us that you keep boiled  
When it really comes down to it, your personality's horribly soiled  
I don't usually like, like being mean as a raptor  
But when it comes to dethroning a brat, I'm a cold _rap_ -tor  
Here's a beauty tip - being self-absorbed isn't pretty  
Neither's throwin' a fitty  
Whenever you don't get your way  
I know I'm not that witty  
But I can tell that you'll never make it as Miss Cute And Mean  
You gotta have both, yet you've only got the latter from what I've seen  
I like to think of myself as sweet  
But I'm here to compete  
And you'll soon be beat!

 ** _Lola:_**

Don't talk about my temper, that way at least  
You won't have to face me as a beast  
It's just me and myself, winning pageants fair and square  
You can't even walk alone if you go out of the lair  
I feel pity for you.  
So stupid, won't pass any class  
If nobody told you not to, we'd see you eating grass  
If the prettiest princess, I don't make that up  
Though I can see you hide a lot with your makeup  
Let's tell you, you're so afraid of spiders at bay

But don't worry, they won't get near you with all your hair sprays  
Now this is your last warning before the red flag  
I'll tear your ugly clothes so bad, they won't even serve as rags

 _ **Leni:**_

Oh no you didn't,  
You did not just insult my fashion!  
My work comes from my heart and passion  
While your figure makes me think you're only taking rations

 _(Beat; music stops)  
_  
 _(worried)_ "Seriously though, you don't need to do that to yourself, it's totes not good for your health."

 _(Music comes back on and she goes back to rapping)  
_  
Unlike you, I'm able to feel compassion  
But there won't be any when I take you out like an assassin  
I use only the right amount of makeup  
While you use up half your supply for an obvious fake-up  
Maybe you should eat some,  
So that you'll be pretty on the inside  
You can only go so far with your pride!

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	20. Order And Chaos (Luna vs Lori)

_**Luna:**_

Yo dude, Luna Loud here  
Ready to rock and roll ya and destroy your whole career!  
Overthrowing you and your status as a babysitter, I'm a rebel like that  
That's what happens when you abuse your power and treat us like brats  
They call ya the High Card, 'cuz you don't meet the requirement  
Of what it takes to keep control without being a tyrant  
I make the world go 'round with my music, but what's your talent?  
Oh sure, you can get _balls into holes_ and score negative points  
Guess it sucks to know you're just the oldest who disappoints  
You think you're so full of class and sass,  
But you're so desperate for likes that you probably post pics of your-

 **Lori:**

Hey sis, tough rhymes  
But now we reach the tough time where you'll pay for your tough crimes  
This animation glitch is about to get ditched  
Little bi with an itch, ready for a pitch  
I stop Leni from falling like the tower of Pisa  
Save us from death from Lisa  
Have the pride, power, rules, prettiness and leadership, for my authority  
While you get out and go party  
Forgot about your minority  
Now you play with sonority  
Well it's time to hear from superiority  
Literally, you're the most irresponsible of us all  
While I'm loved from winter to fall  
I mean, sure, sometimes we gotta brawl  
But I don't get weird looks when at the mall  
So here's something that's true  
Instead of the little girl with her hair blue  
And you're all weird without a clue  
Walking with that weird crew  
With their life that they already blew  
You're just the British cup of tea  
Only famous for your part in the LGBT community  
Who will never stand near me, you see  
Better flee free, hide behind a tree  
Cause for when I get the key, you're just a rocker wannabe

 _ **Luna:**_

Hah, you spend all your time hungry for followers online, and I'm the wannabe?  
I think you're just jealous because you know how I'll turn out to be  
The truth is that in a talented family, you're outta place  
Calling yourself authority just to save yourself some face  
I'm a rockstar baby, working hard for my fame  
You'll just be remembered as a watery stain  
And look at all that volume in both your hair and your voice  
The former which is considerably lighter  
Where was it in your cypher?  
'Cause all I hear are cheap shots from someone who can't hold her own  
Yeah, turns out you don't learn much when you're only on your phone  
Not surprising that you're so uptight with your mind full of strife  
While I'm just here, chillin' and livin' the life  
And you're freaking out with your heart racing  
I wish I could see where you're coming from, but losing's not my thing  
But hey, you know what they say  
Practice makes perfect, the first time may be a misgiving  
Now you know why you've got ten younger siblings!

 ** _Lori:_**

You can't come at me with just rock or metal  
Those aren't enough for a fight to settle  
It takes more to beat me than a few small cups  
I'm literally Lori, look it up  
How can you handle your old sis  
When I'm the one in the bliss  
So many drugs going trough your veins  
Wonder if you still got cells in your brain  
You should be ashamed like I shame  
Twitter stars with the selfies I frame  
Without my command, this house's mess just isn't the same.  
I'm the boss, Luna, you just can't stand to In this whole battle, I'm a God and you're...who?

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


	21. The Dame And The Lynnsane (Lynn vs Lola)

_**Lynn:**_

I may not be one for beating sissies, yeah that's true  
But when it comes to taking down a pink demon with a Napoleon complex,  
I've got quite a storm to brew  
Lola, you're nothing, your rivals sure had it right  
Sure, you know how to twirl a baton, but otherwise you're not that bright  
I'm more graceful than you when I'm covered in sweat and mud  
As I slam my opponents down with a thud!  
Anyone can tell who the winner-Lynner's gonna be at first glance  
Why do you waste your time performing that same old ribbon dance?  
I can play any sport, and better than anyone else at that  
You're just a one trick sparkly little brat  
If you think you can turn me into a doormat  
Hope you know a few things about hand-to-hand combat!  
You're a disgrace, you have no place  
With your lack of talent you'll be nothing more than a pretty face

 ** _Lola:_**

Oh, look what time it is  
It's Lola's time to shine  
Better back up before all your trophies become mine  
It is better to retire, you're out of good rhymes  
No healthy sportsmanship, and a violent mind  
Dang it Lynn, saying I have no talent is rude  
When all you do is play with balls and eat disgusting food!  
How you have the courage to eat all that meat?  
I tried a sub once, and it tasted like...spoiled treats.  
From my dresses, to my tea, everything is magically fabulous  
The only 'magic' thing you have is what comes with your flatulences  
Luan is the clown, but you're the one that brings the humor  
A small child and bad loser  
Why do you think we call you junior?

 _ **Lynn:**_

Well _sorry_ about being rude, but I don't do politeness  
I may be a junior, and you may be a princess  
But I'm the queen of sports, and I outrank you  
So bow down to your royal highness!  
You're about to witness that magic, things'll get tragic  
When I've got a Dutch oven ready with your name on it  
Funny you bring up courage and expect it to have backlash  
You barely have enough to clean up park trash  
The mere sight of a worm makes you dash  
Yikes, right  
And it seems you failed to mention  
The lengths you'll go for attention  
Even when it causes tension  
Since you think you're so clever  
Lemme set things straight, I'm not gonna be short forever  
 _So you better watch who you call small._  
If you think you won this round, you couldn't be more wrong  
Do what you do best and run off to sing another girly song

 ** _Lola:_**

Ugh, this had to come from a body builder  
Claim to have giant muscles, but it's all just filler.  
Run from this battle? Please, you've seen nothing  
I'm not the one whose only special skill is jogging  
You have so many steroids you crushed your brain like an ant  
Your verses stink  
 _(sniff sniff)_ Ever heard of deodorant?  
Apologies if I at least try to keep myself clean  
Unlike you and my twin, I'm not a trash bin  
You have a huge name on sports, that is right  
How does 'girl who doesn't pass the ball' name sounds like?  
Royal highness? Huh, for a bunch of moles, maybe  
I'm the symbol of beauty, 10 times more than you ever may be  
So, you wanna be the queen? Fine, I'll call you our lady  
Cause you're burned  
Don't get it? Learn French, Notre Dame!

* * *

 ** _Who won? Who's next? You decide! Let us know your thoughts in the reviews! :)_**


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